Well, it happened. Basically a year ago now I posted that my interest in RPing was waning. Well, not really, but I want to hit the pause button. It's amazing what kind of affect SeiSub had on me through that... but it's not all the reason, as I said in my journal entry about wanting to dip my toes into storytelling instead of lumbering around in RPing so often.

My RPing life is more or less on hiatus for whatever time it'll take. It was very gradual and not forced and I feel like this ia decision that will benefit my writing overall. For example, the English classes I'm going into this semester with, official writing for Yuletide starting next month, and Zelda's fic still needs to be kicked towards the end.

I don't think I can ever really give it up. I've been with this hobby before anime. Anime, and arguably with today's kids 16 isn't all that young. Not considering Toonami here because I wasn't as immersed in the anime community and didn't really think of it much.

The few RPs I have are niche right now in that I was extremely lucky to find SeiSub fans now who've been long-term with me since last year and earlier this year so far (what a rare godsend). The other SubKam one is turning into a Madoka one with OCs currently while we put that on hiatus and I decide what in the world we're doing with that. Speakimg of that particular RP, I have to finish the intro.

RPing is one of my passions and I'll continue it proudly. But it's going to wane off until I'm prepared to tread the murky lines of ad sites again as I settle in for polishing my talent just a little more before coming back. And it's just as well. I crashed and burned with a lot of the RP attempts I made in the last few years. Ever since I realized M/F isn't for me anymore things sort of nosedived and so did my desire. I'm going to look forward to the quality of what there is in the future.
Old issue that isn’t really important these days, but I’ve thought of it recently again.

The main reason I’m annoyed at RP Buddy Search isn’t because they let it die. Once upon a time last year they were the most active place I knew to post RP ads.

I liked RP Buddy Search when it was around, but they aren’t at all since shortly after leaving. The mods put the entire thing down and nobody can access the posts.

Okay, you guys are busy and may or may mot reboot this year as it says in your note. Fine. Honestly, I think you should have left a last post of explanation and abandoned it that way. Not put the whole blog offline when there were ads that could still be looked back at a few months later.

Do you guys realize how many posts were there from the summer? There were tons. I wondered how many were stuck in the submission limbo until it was taken offline. A wealth of good ads poofed. It doesn’t sit right with me.

Sometimes I can’t help remembering this when I try to advertise my ad on Tumblr. Ads can be reposted, obviously, but I did feel some sense of loss from it sll.
People who mysteriously amscray after the first RP sex scene.

Yeah, yeah, I have done a few sex scenes in my time. Just a few. Sue me, I like romance. What's more, I enjoy plotting romance and the intimacy between characters. But something just had me thinking about this topic recently even though it has not been an issue on my side for a while.

Read more... )
I think I'm beginning to enter a part of my life I don't really want to be in. I want to go back.

I've started English major classes this summer. I took a class which helps with literary criticism and another for beginner's journalism. I love English to pieces, but this means I have to truly figure out what I want to connect with my life. This will probably be the creative writing track, because I honestly can't get myself to do education as a literature prof.

But here is herein where my huge problem lies. I've written stories for school and I've written some things I've posted online (some of which are here since this is my all purpose personal/fic journal). But I've never really finished a true, long story. Most of my projects have either ended abruptly or never lifted off the ground properly. Heck, I can't even write a decent one-shot without the pressure. Sad, yes. Even in the last few years my writing has matured to the point where I don't cringe physically when I see my sentences and grammar.

Okay, I'm possibly exaggerating a tad. I write a lot. There's a lot of ideas tumbling around in my head, and more recently, slightly begun one-shot fanfics on my computer. They're just waiting for me to open the document and plant my fingers on the keyboard. And I have written one-shots before. Not in the way I seriously should concentrate on, however.

I don't like this. I don't. It makes me frustrated with boatloads of ideas. I really need to write.

I want a good story I can call mine and only mine because I poured my heart and soul and sweat and probably even blood into it, fanfic or original story. I have ideas for the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and Tokyo Babylon/X universes to start with. I've started writing them out, but this isn't good enough to get the ball rolling.

Where am I ending with this?

What makes me the saddest is I think I'm finally going to drop most of my roleplaying.

I've been roleplaying for over 10 years. That's one decade. Since I was a child. It helped improve my writing style and I met so many friends. But it also eats up a lot of time I need.

Now don't get me wrong. I'll keep a few. I can't drop entirely, and several of my partners have died I never tried to replace. Small replies are easy to respond to.

But a decay has already started since last year. I stopped caring as much to do some RPs earlier this year. I realized I just don't want to do MxF pairings anymore, for example. Now I only want to do things I really care about because of time restraints, like anime fandoms, I've had quite a few original RPs in the past, though, so I love that as well.

I have said I wanted to be a copy writer and editor. Editing is a major, major pain, though I get quite into my sentence structures and word choices when I'm editing my own writing. I was wondering if I should try my hand at betaing fanfics? Not original stuff. I want to do things I really like first to get the juices flowing. I still don't know about this, I have to see in the upcoming months.

This is a new point in my life. I can feel it, and I have this whole year. I just need to become serious and rid myself of the distractions. I will have to budget my time wisely.



January 2017



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