I think I'm beginning to enter a part of my life I don't really want to be in. I want to go back.

I've started English major classes this summer. I took a class which helps with literary criticism and another for beginner's journalism. I love English to pieces, but this means I have to truly figure out what I want to connect with my life. This will probably be the creative writing track, because I honestly can't get myself to do education as a literature prof.

But here is herein where my huge problem lies. I've written stories for school and I've written some things I've posted online (some of which are here since this is my all purpose personal/fic journal). But I've never really finished a true, long story. Most of my projects have either ended abruptly or never lifted off the ground properly. Heck, I can't even write a decent one-shot without the pressure. Sad, yes. Even in the last few years my writing has matured to the point where I don't cringe physically when I see my sentences and grammar.

Okay, I'm possibly exaggerating a tad. I write a lot. There's a lot of ideas tumbling around in my head, and more recently, slightly begun one-shot fanfics on my computer. They're just waiting for me to open the document and plant my fingers on the keyboard. And I have written one-shots before. Not in the way I seriously should concentrate on, however.

I don't like this. I don't. It makes me frustrated with boatloads of ideas. I really need to write.

I want a good story I can call mine and only mine because I poured my heart and soul and sweat and probably even blood into it, fanfic or original story. I have ideas for the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and Tokyo Babylon/X universes to start with. I've started writing them out, but this isn't good enough to get the ball rolling.

Where am I ending with this?

What makes me the saddest is I think I'm finally going to drop most of my roleplaying.

I've been roleplaying for over 10 years. That's one decade. Since I was a child. It helped improve my writing style and I met so many friends. But it also eats up a lot of time I need.

Now don't get me wrong. I'll keep a few. I can't drop entirely, and several of my partners have died I never tried to replace. Small replies are easy to respond to.

But a decay has already started since last year. I stopped caring as much to do some RPs earlier this year. I realized I just don't want to do MxF pairings anymore, for example. Now I only want to do things I really care about because of time restraints, like anime fandoms, I've had quite a few original RPs in the past, though, so I love that as well.

I have said I wanted to be a copy writer and editor. Editing is a major, major pain, though I get quite into my sentence structures and word choices when I'm editing my own writing. I was wondering if I should try my hand at betaing fanfics? Not original stuff. I want to do things I really like first to get the juices flowing. I still don't know about this, I have to see in the upcoming months.

This is a new point in my life. I can feel it, and I have this whole year. I just need to become serious and rid myself of the distractions. I will have to budget my time wisely.
I waited two years. Now it will finally happen. So Sailor Moon Crystal is going to come out soon, huh. July 5th! It'll be on a Saturday and early in the morning for me. But I'll be sure to try to stay up and catch it on as it's out. It's not like I don't watch Saturday morning stuff as it is when I can. I don't know what to expect, though. It's supposed to be based on the manga and I haven't read any of it. I doubt I will in the next less than a month.

I'm one of those girls who watched Sailor Moon on Toonami and Cartoon Network back in the heyday. Yeah, I know. Enjoy the dub? Well. Kinda. There were still voices I remember liking. But maybe I should blame Sailor Moon for my love of the moon and rabbits. Scratch that, the rabbits I used to own did that to me. It had its impact regardless.

Eventually, if Crystal does well, I hope for it on Toonami. Since Viz has both Crystal and the original series as of now (with new dub to boot incoming of the original) these are likely possibilities. You're throwing away good money and ratings if you don't. But this is my fangirl dream. So far we haven't gotten Inuyasha: The Final Act. Now that's already five years old now? And I thought the original was old. How time flies. I don't know how those legal issues were cleared up for the original, but I'm happy!

I have yet to buy the Sailor Moon merch that's been out. I should, right? But I see the new Cardcaptor Sakura Nendoroids (Sakura and Tomoyo) coming out and I plan on jumping on those. Syoaran must be made even if he'll have less buys. CCS Nendoroids will probably only flop if in some alternate universe they create one for each card. Not to mention a collector's nightmare. But you didn't get that idea from me! -whistles innocently- Remember, though, Tomoyo will not be Tomoyo without a camera accessory that I can use go have her tape the Sakura nendo next to her. Just sayin'. There's also that BD from NIS for CCS I want to buy, or I wonder what the boxes for the JP version look like.

Speaking of magical girls, it has come to my wallet's attention Nanoha is getting the BD treatment in Japan! Nanoha's adorable self in glorious HD. Why are they doing this to me. Stop these good things. I don't have the DVDs, so I am incredibly tempted. Except that all three seasons will be a sizeable chuck of cash and that's at least about $700 without shipping included. That's really how it goes, but you know. Here I haven't gotten the first movie. Still gotta do that. And there's even more Nanoha merch I need that has nothing to do with the BD releases....

So I never bought the Madoka movies, either, and I'm late on the first two. I was kinda waiting to see if they'd get dubbed, I guess. Yeah, don't give me that look. Which I believe Aniplex of America says they'll do now. Rebellion came out last month. I know spoilers, but I have to watch it. But since that Rebellion movie is new and LE, why not. I have to watch it sometime because I couldn't go to the movie theater viewings so far away. Besides, this Akemi Homura figure exists for the Rebellion movie and I think I need it in my life to complete it. Why do you look so cool, Homura! Don't look at the price tag. Resist it.

Do you see this? I'm talking about a few magical girl shows and I have my hands full here.

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Kisuru

January 2017

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